Last night I watched the Billboard Music Awards, because Sunday night television doesn’t have much to offer.  So I flipped this on and figured I’d get a kick out of some part of it.  During the show, several names were called for awards more than once.  One of those names, of course, was Taylor Swift.

I, however, am not one of those people.

Yeah, I know…I must be crazy or something.  I’ve heard it all.

I’ll admit, I thought TSwift was cute when she first came onto the country scene.  I liked a couple of her early songs and thought she’d be a promising addition to the Nashville crowd.  I wasn’t blown away, but I was willing to give her a chance.  

Well, that didn’t last for long.

Taylor’s songs can be broken into two main categories: sappy and obsessivecrazyborderlinestalker.  And within “sappy,” we’ve got “life is perfect, love is wonderful, it’s a love story baby just say yes” and “he’ll never see me as the perfect one for him, can’t he see, he’ll never love me omgbrbcrying.”

I don’t get the obsession with Taylor Swift.  Okay, maybe I’d get it if I were still 12, but I’m not.  The girl is 23 and she’s still singing essentially the same things she sang about as a 16-year-old.  

I don’t know about you, but I’m a completely different person now as opposed to my 16-year-old self.  Way different.  Sure, “Picture to Burn” was fun when I was 15 and going through my first breakup, and “Teardrops on my Guitar” was the perfect I-want-him-but-he’ll-never-want-me song at one time…if that time was my sophomore year of high school.  You would think she’d grow up as she gets older, because most of us tend to mature as we age.  

Although, on that note, I will give Taylor credit for one thing: she knows her audience and knows how to keep them loyal.  And there will always be 12-year-olds who think she’s a genius and the greatest girl to ever grace the earth.

Another thing that bothers me about Taylor is the rate at which she cycles through boys.  Seriously, the girl goes through boys like a baby goes through diapers.  That shouldn’t be normal.  Taylor is quoted saying:

“If you’re the girl that needs a boyfriend, and once she loses that boyfriend needs to replace it with a different boyfriend, it’s just this constant stream of boyfriends all the time. I don’t feel like I ever want to be that girl. I want to be the girl that when she falls in love, it’s a big deal and it’s a rare thing.”

John Mayer, Jake Gyllenhaal, Joe Jonas, Harry Styles, Taylor Lautner, Connor Kennedy…they all beg to differ, sweetie.  Y’all must have had very different definitions of what a “boyfriend” entails.  Good thing you’re never ever ever getting back together with any of them, right?

Okay, I know…she’s a celebrity.  Being in the tabloids and all the magazines is pretty much in the job description.  Those who manage to avoid it are lucky and/or magical, and should probably share some of their tips and tricks with Miss Swift.  The fact that she brings it all on herself by actively talking about her love affairs with celebrity magazines doesn’t help her case.  If she wants to be out of the tabloids, then take a breather and don’t talk about your love life to the mags and reporters!

In all seriousness, what is she teaching young girls these days, subliminally or overtly?  That it’s okay to  have a “constant stream of boyfriends” or that it’s okay to go psycho when it doesn’t work out?  That love is all wonderful and life is a fairy tale?  That Romeo is just going to ride up on his horse and drop to one knee and ask you to run away with him?  Or that you should buy a house next to your flavor of the week/month?  That, when something doesn’t work out, to keep trying and hanging onto it because that sliver of hope is worth it?  I speak from experience in saying that no, it’s not.  It only makes the hurt worse and makes it more difficult to move on.  

Which is funny, because she clearly doesn’t have that much trouble moving on…

I don’t know.  I guess I’m just annoyed with her music and her acts.  How can you pretend to be so coy and sweet when everyone can name at least four guys you’ve been with off the top of his head, with little hesitation?

And finally, have you seen the girl perform live?  Every time I see her on an awards show or anything, I’m never impressed.  Last night she sang “22” at the BMAs.  She didn’t sound anything like what I hear on the radio, which is a testament to her abilities one way or another.  Her actual voice is a little deeper than her recorded/edited/probably-autotuned-to-some-degree voice, and she didn’t sound as smooth as she does recorded.  On that note, I’ve never watched a Taylor Swift performance and thought, “Wow, I’d spend money to see her in concert.”  If I’m going to see someone in concert, that person/band better sound far and away better live than they do recorded.

Case in point: Carrie Underwood.  My parents say Miranda Lambert put on a good show, too.  

I’m sorry, dear Taylor.  I tried.  I gave it a chance.  But I just couldn’t keep up with the boys and the whining and the overdramatized romance.

Don’t worry, though, the 12-year-olds still love you.